Like Lady Macbeth

No matter how much I purge
Through words and tears
I can't get this dark
Rejected feeling
OUT
OUT
OUT
Like Lady Macbeth
The blood spots haunting me
But I've done nothing wrong
And there's nothing I can do to change it

Last Friday Night

I know what it's like
To kiss your lips
To feel your hand in mine
To have you hold me

You don't remember
And I can't forget

You told me not to tell
But everyone knows

I know what it's like
To kiss your lips
To feel your hand in mine
To have you hold me

Writing Poetry

It's so good to write poetry again.
It's like coming home
And breathing in the scent
Of everything you'd forgotten.

Or picking up your baby blanket
And sobbing into it,
For no reason other then that you needed to cry.
To get the bad emotions out so you could live.

That's what it's like.
Writing poetry.
For me.
Tonight.

Never

All the hopes and dreams I had for this time
Are not coming true.
Sure there are aspects of this life-
The parties
And the boys
And the work-
That I totally expected.
But in all honesty,
This is so much harder then I had planed.
I have never been so homesick
Never felt so alone and left out
Never ever wished that there were people in the place I live that would just go away forever.
But that's life
And I've just got to cry it away
Before it consumes me.

I can't Tell

I can't tell if this
Is just the lagging's of a hangover
Or genuine self doubt
Or loneliness like I've never before felt.

I can't tell how it
Would feel to touch your lips to mine
Or to let you know how I feel
Or to inflict some act of violence on those who hate me.

I can't tell what it
Would take to bring me back to normal
Or to make me speak the truth
Or to finally break down and cry.

I can't tell you
Everything I'm feeling inside
Or the bitter sting of rejection I feel from such little things
Or that I can't decide which of you I truly like.

-College Feelings-

There are so many feelings
Rushing up to great me
Every single day here.

Some are wonderful;
A new friendship
A smile, a handshake, a soft touch

And some are confusing;
A fading dream
An unfinished essay, a sneer, an avoidance

It's all so unnerving
Everything that's happening
At college.