I Can Pinch More Than An Inch

"I can pinch more than an inch"
I read it in a book somewhere
As a child.
I pinch myself and am relieved that I can barely pull my skin away.

"I can pinch more than an inch!"
My sister teases me as she pinches my side.
I pinch myself
And while I'm still too young to know exactly how big an inch is
I'm positive that the skin between my fingers is less than that.

"I can pinch more than an inch"
I can hear it in my head as I look in the mirror each morning of puberty.
I know it's impossible, but each day I think I can see an extra inch added.

"I can pinch more than an inch..."
I whisper this to myself as I try on clothes in the dressing room.
I want to look nice, to be attractive.
I leave without buying anything.

"I can pinch more than an inch"
I tell my reflection
As I grab at the handfuls of fat on my body.
I cry.

"I can pinch more than an inch"
The saying that has haunted me my whole life.
It rings in my ears
As I dress myself to cover up my body with "flattering" clothes.

"I can pinch more than an inch"
I cover my ears as I curl into myself
Trying to become as small as I can.

Unrequited?

I'm so sick of being in love with you
I just want to be over you-
Able to move on and fall head over heels
With a future I'll actually be allowed
To have.
Each thought of you causes my heart to race
And my palms to sweat.
Though the miles may part us, my heart does not calm.
That can't be healthy.
You've set my world on fire
And I know I'll be cold
Without even the embers of hope to keep me warm.
You told me that it can't be.
But you left me with logic;
Able to reason out the love in your words.
Release me.
Cut me off.
Break my heart.
Hurt.
Me.
So that I can heal myself from you.