The Music

I sit listening to the music

I let the note of someone voice float over me
overtaking me

Wishing that I could do what they do
to break out and write something masterful
but I can't

I don't have the creativity
the style
the brain power
the skill, drive, talent

Not to do something life changing
like writing a song
that will mean something to someone, somewhere

But I'll keep trying
and wishing

For the music to come to me

I lied

I made it over
the mountain
breathing
gasping for more air

The sweat on my palms feels like slime
and my legs are
numb numb numb
and my heart races

My bags are packed
and I'm ready to go
but ready to leave you behind?
I don't think I'll ever know

One of These Days

One of these days
I'm gonna break for good
and no one will have a chance of fixing me

I'll be how I've always been meant to be
finally
shattered into pieces

Then anyone can have me
anyone and everyone
all at the same time

But no one will want me
anyways
I'm no hot commodity

I'm just some lowly girl
who sings
and writes stupid poetry

Digging

I dig
holes for myself to crawl into all the time
and my nails sink into the skin on my arm--
not really a meaning

The tears don't fall, though I feel them build and build
but they hide, they grow, they tower
but they never come
and my break down becomes invisible

Because--
I. am. breaking.
inside I'm falling to my death
from the top of the world
to the bottom of the ocean.

Falling, falling, falling
like a child in a game
except there's no joy here--
not with so much to lose

I'm not going to make it over the mountain
I'm going to teeter on the top
I'm going to explode--
out over the country

and no one will find all the pieces
not ever
even if they looked
which I doubt.

Man of My Dreams

If I could sail across the sea
To search for the love of my life,
The first place I'd go to look
Has a flag of orange, green and white.
The men, they all are gorgeous,
And their accents weaken my knees,
They drink and fight and play their sports
But, I bet they'd make time for me

I Can't Breathe

I'm drowning
In the covers of my bed
There's no where to come up for air
Because I'm alone
No one to hold me up
And I've realized
That's all I need to keep afloat
Someone to hug
To snuggle
To wrap my arms around
And hide in when things get hard
Like a pillow
That lives and breathes

I want to help

I see the struggling
I want to help
I love them so much
I hate to see this going on
I just want to help
I dont want to make them feel helpless
I stand alone on the street
Waiting for help to come along