Missing My New Acquaintance

I've said it before
And I'll say it again
(and maybe someday I'll say it another 2 or 4 or 100 times)-
I was a fool to think I ever had a part of you
To call my own.
You were always just a stranger-
Passing through on your way to your life.
And regardless of my claims or lack thereof,
You've left a me wound that stays dormant;
most of the time.
A glass too many, or a sad song, or a bad night
Are all like scratching at a barely healed cut, right on my heart.
I sit and think of nothing but the way you held me
Or how you'd ignore my text messages
Or how you broke promises
And no matter how bad the memory,
I still miss being able to miss you.
Now that I've lost a lover and a friend,
I realize that all I've gained is an
Acquaintance

Lost And Wandering

Maybe I'm not smart
                        strong
                        focused
                        driven
                                  enough.
There's so much I'm
Just
Not Getting.

By what fault of mine,
     did I end up
here
?

I'm not sure, not sure, not sure, not sure, not sure, not sure, not sure at all.
What the heck is going on?
What is being said?
What are we taking away?

       Someone come and get me
    And take me
And send me a lifeline.
             Please!

NaPoWriMo 2013 Day 30

-Closing April-

I'm on the last page
Of this book.
Closing out the month
With no real flair.
For the first time,
I'm not exactly sad to see it go.
But perhaps,
That is because I've been
Too sad about everything else.
Goodbye to the time
Of sweet poetry.

NaPoWriMo 2013 Day 29

-Abandoned-

I am uncomfortable
Being alone
In a crowded place.
Not intentionally put in a situation of loneliness.
But abandoned
And left to my own devices
Until you arrive.
Left by false plans.
The breadcrumbs have been laid.
The date marked on the calendar.
And yet I'm here on my own
With no one to call a friend.

NaPoWriMo 2013 Day 28

-For The Best-

There was a time

When I thought you were what I needed

In my life.

But you've left me on my own.

I want to hate you 

For abandoning me.

For wasting me.

But, what you've done is right.

What neither of us had the strength to do

Came to pass on it's own.

And I'll be fine this time.

Because it's what we both need.

What we both can see is best.

I wish you the best.

NaPoWriMo 2013 Day 27

-Whispers-

Quiet now. Don't make any sudden moves.

Slowly look up at the world around you.

Really take in the crowd you're a part of.

Shhhhh.

I'm watching you, listening to you.

Do you see me? Do you hear me?

I'm the man over there, on his cell phone.

What am I saying? Am I talking about you?

I am that child passing by with my mother.

Can you feel my eyes on you yet?

I am the judgmental teen, ready to comment on everyone else.

Are you doubting yourself yet?

Soon, your ears will burn with embarrassment,

When of course you've done nothing to be embarrassed about.

You will feel a buzzing, a low hum.

It will come from across the room. 

From a stranger passing on the street.

The rumble from next door.

The full chatter of a crowd.

Aimed at you.

Like a missile.

Programed to seek and destroy.

Armed to obliterate 

Your self esteem,

Your self worth.

I am the hissssssing of the voices

Talking about you. 

Drowning you. 

Asking you to 

PAY ATTENTION TO ME! 

NaPoWriMo 2013 Day 26

-I Am A Dinosaur-

I am a dinosaur.
I do not pretend.
I hunt in the wild.
I can think and learn and devour you whole.
My instincts are sharp.
I will stop at nothing.
No prey is too large or too smart.
I will win.