Currently Empty

There is this

Quiet
Empty
Space
Right here in my chest


I'm sure you can see it
Because it's
Gaping and
Black
And deep
And Bleeding

I feel like,
Since it came back (because it's been here before)
I've been going through life
In a haze
A hangover-like state
A formerly-perfect setting
Cruise Control

No band aide
Or plaster can fill the hole
Because I've tried
So hard
And the only things that help
To make me whole
Are no good


They are fleeting
Or morally damaging
Or emotionally draining
Or all three and more at once

So I'm just going to have to go on living
With this hole in my body
Hoping that people will stop staring
And that someday I can find
Something to fill it