Michael

I find it hard to believe-
So many things these days.

How happy I am
How fast time moves
How little money I make
How much I love you

But mostly,
I find it hard to believe
That I've never written a poem about you.

Never written how you've changed me,
Irrevocably.
Never put to verse how peacefully I sleep next to you,
With your too hot skin pressed to me in places,
And your soft breathing as my lullaby.
Never immortalized the cliche,
"You complete me"

But because I haven't written a poem about you,
I've gotten to love you so much more.
You aren't someone who makes me cry and need to write out all my emotions
In some pretty way to have them make sense.

You're real. And here.
And so very much mine.
I can speak my emotions to you.
They don't have to be pretty.
And that's why.
This is the first poem about you.

NaPoWriMo 2015 Day 30

-Summary of April-

This month-
No this year-
Has left me feeling like I'm spiraling out of control
Even as I'm picking up the broken pieces of my life
And lifting myself up.
Nothing but negativity in my brain
While I portray happiness
And upbeat moods.
I can't shake the feeling
I'm headed for a big reveal.

NaPoWriMo 2015 Day 29

-Dream-

Last night I had a dream
Where I was in love
With the perfect man
And I was happy.
My life was the same
With just one slight change
And I was happy.
I was awakened too early
By the sound of the phone
And I felt the loss of my perfect life
And I have been sad all day.

NaPoWriMo 2015 Day 28

-My Future-

Someday I want to have made it.
I don't need to be famous or crazy rich.
I don't need to see my name up in lights
Or get recognized all the time.
But I need to be doing what I love.
I need to be involved somehow
In the world that I love.

Some days I can't see it.
My future is limited
To the next posted work schedule.
Maybe a family trip in July.
But further than that is a mystery
One that I'm no closer to solving.

NaPoWriMo 2015 Day 27

-Radio Silence Part 2-

I've written about radio silence before
But back then it wasn't a surprise.
To someone with no self confidence
Being ignored by a crush is par for the course.
But this time,
When it's everyone I care about,
All at once,
I'm caught off guard.
All I hear is static
And I'm left wondering who I should call for back up,
When my back ups have all gone quiet.

NaPoWriMo 2015 Day 26

-Mortality-

Swollen joints
Aching muscles
And yet I'm so young.
My health is failing me
And facing my own mortality
Has never been my strong suit

NaPoWriMo 2015 Day 25

-You-

I'd forgotten how much i hate you
Or maybe I didn't even know
Until I saw you avoiding eye contact
In the grocery store
Where I work

I felt a sudden red hot anger
And all I wanted was for you
To see me
Purposely avoiding
You