NaPoWriMo 2014 Day 26

-Modern Medicine-

I never feel good when I'm like this.
Why would I?
Then it wouldn't be what it is.
They say anxiety and depression go hand in hand.
So why do I feel like I'm left with my palms empty
And lifted up to the skies
Begging.
Begging for some kind of change that will never come.
When they told me I was probably right,
That I was experiencing anxiety,
They didn't make it official.
Nowhere does it say that I've been diagnosed with anything.
All my ailments are speculative.
I've received treatment in the barest way.
When they dismissed me after one and a half visits
Because I was "sleeping a little better"
They were telling me that I was fixed
When in fact I felt more broken than before.
Now I self medicate with herbs,
With pins and needles,
With nothing helpful.
Because they didn't diagnose me.
They shuffled me around, because what I was feeling
Wasn't enough to go on.
Wasn't ENOUGH to be a problem.